Real funny, internet.

I just felt a pain I hadn’t felt since LiveJournal. I spent two hours… yes TWO HOURS carefully honing a post to perfection, and lost it in the preview phase. All that writing, lost to the ether. I’ll admit it, it makes me want to walk away from the computer, but it would kind of defeat the whole purpose of what I wrote. In short, it said,

Hi. I’m Bean. I don’t write here enough, and I figured out why: I’m shy. I’m shy, and sometimes I get depressed. And also, in that time between LiveJournal and now I somehow lost the self esteem that told me that the things I want to share with people are genuinely worth sharing.

If I didn’t re-write the post, I’d be defeating myself.

It continued to go on to say that I care about feminism and fat activism and fashion. That I like to sew and paint miniatures and learn new artistic techniques. And that I have friends that do wicked cool stuff, too, and that if you combine all of these things, that’s what can expect to see a lot of in the future. Seems so short and matter of fact now.

I also lost the links. Such a bummer to know I’ll have to recollect all that stuff. But in a sense, it also makes me happy to know that instead of just linking to someone when I say “my friends do cool stuff” that instead I can do a whole post devoted to said friend. So yeah. Look forward to that.

In the meantime, lets just enjoy the rest of the evening with a dancing bear (courtesy of foxadhd), and maybe a drink, if you’re into that.




4 thoughts on “Real funny, internet.

  1. I often wish I had the bravery (naiveté ?) that I used to have in the good ‘ol days of Livejournal too….or Flickr even. I have really been struggling with blogging again, and I wonder how in the hell that works when I feel more settled into myself now as a person than I ever have. Maybe it feels like there is more at stake? I don’t know… good for you for hitting publish on this one despite the frustrations!

    1. Thanks, Carrie! You make a really interesting point about struggling with blogging while simultaneously feeling more settled into yourself. I don’t know how that works either, but here’s to us both finding our voices!

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