Dude, Bring Guacamole and Chips

A little extra effort goes a long way, dudes. If you want to impress at your next potluck or bring your best game to taco night, nothing beats fresh guacamole. A little planning, a little work, and you’ll have a dish that’s delicious, satisfying (all that protein!), vegan (they will love you for it), and gluten free depending on the chips, tortillas, or taco shells. 

What you need:

3 Avocados
1.5 Tbsp Tomato, diced
1 Tbsp Red or White Onion, minced
1 Tbsp Garlic, minced
1 Tbsp fresh Lime juice
6 dashes Cumin
3 dashes Chili Powder
3 dashes Cayenne
3 dashes Salt

If you have trouble finding ripe avocados at the store, just buy some dark and firm avocados a couple days before you want to have guacamole and leave them in a paper bag until you need them. They’ll ripen up quickly, and you won’t have to worry about finding those perfect avocados at the last minute.

Before you get going, you’ll want your ingredients, your cutting board and knife, your mixing bowl, and an open beer ready. After rinsing the tomato and avocados, slice into an avocado lengthwise, being careful to just reach the pit. Holding your knife firmly, rotate the avocado around the pit and against the blade, cutting it in half. Setting down the knife and taking each half in hand, wiggle and twist the halves while separating to pull them apart more easily. A great trick for removing the pit is to chop into it solidly with your knife and use the same gentle twisting to free the pit. If it’s difficult to separate the halves or remove the pit, the avocado may be a little unripe.

If you have a hand masher, take a teaspoon and use it to scoop the avocado flesh from the skin into your mixing bowl. Be sure to scrape the skin, as the ripest flesh will be the closest to the skin. If you don’t have a hand masher, use your knife to gently slice the avocado into a fine grid, taking care not to cut through the skin; this will make it easier to mash the ingredients with a fork.

Next, chop the tomato finely. If you’ve got a dull knife, do the best you can – no one will complain that the tomato was chunky. Add this to the bowl, followed by the minced onion and garlic, then the salt and other dry seasonings, and finally drizzle almost all of the lime juice over the top. Go a little easy on the salt and the lime, since chips or seasoned meat will add a lot of salt to the final flavor and it’s easy for lime juice to overpower everything else in a dish. Drizzle all of the lime juice over the top and mash everything together until it’s a smooth paste. Give it a taste with a chip and add a little extra salt or lime if needed.

Some people say putting the avocado pits into the finished guacamole helps to keep it from turning brown, but I don’t know how true that is. What I do know is that if you aren’t going to eat it right away, cover it with saran wrap or put it into some tupperware. It will brown a bit, but you can mix it up and no one will notice because it will be so delicious they’ll be asking who brought the awesome guacamole.




Editors note: This is a guest post from the delightful Emil Gerth. Emil is a professional nerd and abiding dude. He co-rules at Fart Castle in Portland, Oregon, might be a wizard, and is always thinking.

2 thoughts on “Dude, Bring Guacamole and Chips

  1. emilgerth

    I realize belatedly that I neglected to give Chris Verbick his propers for teaching me the ways of guacamole. He’s making far more interesting things now – check out Cinter Design to find out more.

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